A Male Matter’s Explanation of The World of Children/The World of Work


Male Matters divides society into two “worlds” — the world of work (the productive world) and the world of children (the reproductive world). Each needs the other for its survival, and both obviously are needed for civilization’s survival. Thus, the two worlds are equally important.

When feminists demanded women’s full integration into the world of work, the government at every level responded with an endless array of programs designed to appease their demand and ensure that women’s integration was enforced.

Since men first demanded full integration into the world of children — into the work involving children — their demand, largely because women give birth and are deemed by many to be the “natural” parent, has mostly gone ignored and often is repudiated. That’s in part because not enough men take up the banner against the sexism aimed at them. (See Why So Few Men Protest Anti-male Sexism.”) 

“Family courts are so tilted against men that when I was taking the Bar Exam, the joke about how to pass the family law question without studying was, ‘Give the kids to the mother.’ Which I did, and I passed the first time.” -Kurt Schlichter, July 30, 2013, Instapundit.com

Over time, organized, ideological feminists apparently sensed men’s powerlessness in the gender arena (all the while complaining about ubiquitous male power, which intimidates a large number of men into acquiescing to feminist views). It was then, I think, that many leading feminists shifted their goal from achieving equality for both sexes in both worlds to ending men’s dominance in the world of work and preserving women’s dominance in the world of children. Here’s how the flagship feminist group, the National Organization for Women, views equal custody rights for parents, as told by Warren Farrell in his 2018 book The Boy Crisis:

NOW is not for equality - To it politics trumped equality

Preserving this female dominance preserves the concept of “women and children,” which, among other things, helps establish the female’s automatic attachment to children and hence accords women a huge degree of understood innocence and need for extra protection. While promoting the concept of “women and children,” feminist groups agitate against the concept of “men and work” — and certainly against “men and children,” as Farrell’s statement implies. To my knowledge, not one feminist activist has said men should be given, for instance, the reproductive right that equates to women’s right of abortion, namely the right not to be legally required to support a child a man did not want — especially after he was tricked and used by a woman to get pregnant: 

“As recounted to me by multiple aides, staffers and ex-girlfriends of professional athletes, there are women who go to elaborate lengths to become pregnant by them. Poking holes in condoms is just the tip of the iceberg, no pun intended.” 

“But the equally disturbing issue is that (Justin) Bieber’s accuser follows a long line of women who not only use their sexuality to get ahead, but their wombs. The act of becoming pregnant on purpose with the goal of landing financial security has become viewed as such a common practice that it is regularly joked about whenever stories like this become public. Bloggers, commenters, and commentators use language like ‘just became pregnant with eighteen years of security’ or ‘she just hit the lotto’ to describe women announced to be carrying the children of rich men, particularly men they were not in serious relationships with but will now be linked to, both personally and financially, for life.” -Huffington Post’s Keli Goff

Hell will likely freeze over before a man’s rights are equal to a woman’s in the reproductive world.

How’s the following for an illustration of where males are in regards to equal rights in the world of children, in the reproductive world?

Courts have ruled that boys who were statutorily raped by older women must pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has taken the semen from a condom a man used for sex with a different woman and has inserted it in herself, the man must pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has concealed her pregnancy (denying the man the right to be a father) and then sued for child support a decade later, the man must pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has deceived her husband into believing that her baby is his child, he must pay child support. Few if any men are relieved of child support obligations due to the circumstances of the pregnancy, no matter how bizarre or unjust.” -“Hoodwinked into fatherhood

Can you imagine society doing anything even remotely similar to females? If it does such things to young, innocent boys, what is it willing to do to grown men? Black men in particular have to worry: is racism worse than this?

“Virtually every legal and institutional arrangement governing these fathers’ lives tells them that they are a paycheck and nothing more. Unless he has a visitation order, no institution will help to ensure that a father will even be able to see his child. . . . At every turn an unmarried man who seeks to be a father, not just a daddy, is rebuffed by a system that pushes him aside with one hand while reaching into his pocket with the other.” –Doing the Best I Can, Fatherhood in the Inner City, a new book by Kathryn Edin and Timothy Nelson, January 29, 2014


An Exercise:

As you watch movies, sitcoms, and commercials on TV, count how many times women are shown doing something as well as or better than men in the world of work.

Then count how many times men are shown doing something as well as or better than women in the world of children, say, at a daycare center or in a kindergarten class.

Welcome to “gender equality.”

Recommended book: Warren Farrell’s “Father and Child Reunion.”

Related Reading:

“Do women really want men to play an equal role in parenting?”

“The Feminist Leader Who Became a Men’s-Rights Activist”


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10 Responses to A Male Matter’s Explanation of The World of Children/The World of Work

  1. hisor says:

    Custody of children goes to caregivers. Men tend to be breadwinners and as a result the home stay mom stereotype influences the laws. The whole thing about men being untidy, unsafe, and ect to children, these stereotypes support discrimination. Similar things happen to women in work force outside home. Some men hide misogony and similar things in traditions. Men stereotypes and the influence of history(e g muslim countries) and misogony turn some females radical. Thats where radical hipocrites feminists come from. The worst thing is that men support their stereotypes e g calling home stay dads names like gay or fag, simple men who are showing emotions are called gay. Some women dont think men sincerely want those children… Also the stereotype of men running away from children/family does not help things for men in reproductive rights. If men were shown as good caregivers, proved to be as good caregivers as mothers this whole discrimination would not happen. Women faced the exact same thing when wanting to be involved in work force outside home. They proved that they are capable, now its time men did the same thing with caregiving. This is my perspective as a female. Dont get me wrong. I think men and women are equally capable or caregiving and working. But as a female who knows many females I thought I would give the perspective of why things are the way they are. The problem is that men support their discrimination in pretty much everything and the stereotypes of genders are not gone. Im a feminist who is not radical/extremist… I agree that men should have a choice in all of this. Parenthood cannot be forced. But there is a problem I myself run into. When explaining this issue men use insults, say that women have it better (women dont think that, what men see as women privileges we see as discrimination, pregnancy is not better than paying the money), they dont explain it correctly and some females believe that men want to force abortions/have a say in whether women has to have an abortion or not, some males really do want to force abortions, males lack the understanding of medical issues of pregnancy and abort. It all drives women away or makes themselves feel like victims( the whole thing that men do nice things just to get laid with no motivation to use contraception, money is considered a motivation, some think that men want a way to get sex easily with no cons or worries). Men think they are used by women, women think they are used by men(the whole thing about lack of female rights in the world globally supports this opinion).I had to talk to so many men to get that what they want is the right to say no or yes to the child… Men use attacks of insults and similar way to thinking of women as worse/superior and women feel threatened. Thats all there is to it. The same happened to females with education,votes,careers and ect in the 20 century, men did the same thing as some females do now. When both are equal in reproduction and work sphare, the equality will be real…

    There are things that men do to discriminate women while thinking that those are privileges and saying that discrimination doesnt exist. Like unequal pay… it is real because society forces women to stay at home and men to go to work to earn money to support the family. Saying that women are at fault is incorrect… there are as many men AND women who would like to change places but difficulties like bullying, name calling and ect discrimination of BOTH prevents that. There are more reasons for unequal pay, google women and economy site with reasons for unequal pay. The whole home stay mom thing is not that good to women just as breadwinning to men. Women dont get pensions and if divorce happens she is with child and no job and ect. Men dont see families dont know their children as much, stress and ect. Women blame men, men blame women. Incorrect, the guilty here are both equally.

    Both genders dont get the discrimination of the other… thats the problem. Feminists see females as victims, male activists see men as victims. To achieve something really equal there should be no feminists or male activists. This world needs one movement for both directly. Misogony and misandry increases because both fail to get the other. Why to fuel this chain of hatred and prejudice? The Equalist movement is increasing. I invite both activists to join forces for one and the same goal. This way we at least have a chance at understanding each other. Fighting each other while at the same time fighting for the same goal is stupid.

    Ps I was angry here/bad mood. So grammar mistakes may be present together with me repeating the same ideas… did not check, just said my mind and experience…


    • Thanks for the long, thoughtful comment.

      Individual men and women are generally just doing what they think is expected of them. They make personal decisions that collectively have large societal impact.

      My major complaint is that these personal decisions are interpreted by feminists and the mainstream liberal media as discrimination against women. The government and others have responded to this “discrimination” by helping women in the world of work but mostly ignoring men in the world of children.

      As for equal pay, what do you say about such choices by individual women as this:

      “In 2011, 22% of male physicians and 44% of female physicians worked less than full time, up from 7% of men and 29% of women from Cejka’s 2005 survey.” http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2012/03/26/bil10326.htm

      Mind you, these are some of the most sophisticated, educated women in the country CHOOSING to earn less than their male counterparts in the exact same profession.

      A thousand laws won’t fix that — if it needs fixing. See “Will the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act Help Women?”


      • hisor says:

        My point is, the unequal pay would be fixed if men took more time off of work to care for children. Women tend to take less hours for children… Wouldnt it be better for men if they enjoyed more time at home? I dont get why they dont do that…in some EU countries they do and its normal, in some countries its close to 100% of fathers. Paternity leave and similar do exist but somehow only women tend to take it. In Japan government men take paternity leave to encourage men. I mean, in Japan the traditions are super strong and even there the stereotypes are being broken… Also discrimination in workplace do exist because of maternity leave, employers expect women to take them and are treating them differently in many ways, even breaking the law to not emply based on gender… If both were to take paternity leave or sth like flexibe time and ect emplyers could not expect anything, treatment would be more equal… In general, US people work too much compared to the rest of the modern world… There is a need to change. Men work too much, women are discriminated in workplace, its bad for both……..

        The job is not just for money, I do it because I like it. The whole thing is described as discrimination of women because in older ages females were forbidden to do all those things, the only choice they had was to be at home. I mean, Im so happy that I was born when I was born. If I were to be born some decades ago, I would not be able do what I do now, I wouldnt even have the right to dream about it. The education, ambitions to achieve ect… Many women see mens position as some privilege or sth. Before I talked with some men, I never even considered they would want to stay at home or sth similar as I didnt considered them to be children people. Plus many men want women to be locked in the kichen away from the world, they fight against women rigths hiding behind traditions and family wellbeing (Muslims and ect, history..as in family matters, but womens freedom, achievements and happiness doesnt, they talk about the whole family while only care for one side of it – men, they can do whatever they want while women are controlled)..it gives the impression that they DONT want to do that themselves… and think that its womens job – discrimination as in only one choice while men have so many careers to choose from and achieve more than a parent just because of gender. If men wanted change I think they can do it, but many dont want it as in so many women fight for the right to go to work globally, so for men to fight to stay at home there is really no need… Even men who are ok with a working wife think that its their job to work and its not necessary for women but say “if they want it they can”. There are very few men who understand their own discrimination in all of this, many are simply ok with this. Women fight for the right to go to work and it gives the impression thateveryone wants to work… Many feminists blame men for not participating enough in family life and not sacrificing their careers for the family because mostly women do it and its not just feminists, simple women too think like that. Family is the most important but its unfair that only one parent sacrifices things like career and its mostly based on gender. Women do want longer maternal leave or to leave a job, to take a break. To raise a baby is a full time job and bond is important, men get blaimed for not helping out on this. It would be fair for both if one takes a leave for some time and then the other does, sharing the leave. Many women dont go to work because they dont want the baby to go to daycare, they want family to take care of it, if its a father then they are ok with it, they believe that the baby is safe and feel better to go to work. Even if they want to go to work VERY much they dont for the baby, if men participated more, the wifes could be more free. Im talikng about babies. When children go to school its not that much of a problem because they spend a lot of time at school with activities and lessons. Why men dont tend to spend more time with their children? I mean it would be better for men and children, right? And women too. If women are taking more time to work that means men will have to take less one day,thats the only way to achieve equal pay. For men to work less because women do work quite a lot. Why men dont want it or dont try to achieve that? It cant be that they want to work that much, they do want family time… Google women and economy + reasons for unequal pay, it lists more reasons like constructions and similar are mostly men professions, programs are starting to encourage women to participate to achieve equal pay plus women live longer and dont get pensions if their profession was a home stay parent…ect. If men took it easier on themselves they would live longer, the age gap would be a little smaller…

        Everything is so complicated. What needs to be done is to encourage people to break all stereotypes and question everything, dont do things that everyone expects them to do, may they be themselves and do what they think is best for them. I dont just mean this situation, I mean everything in life. Many things are done without thinking and hurt other e g a boy with a flower is called gay, but what if that is for a grave, a date, mom,birthday, why cant boys like flowers? Ect. Society is full or norms and is slow at accepting different people,ideas and ect. Hurtful.

        My thoughts here are messy. I left even messier comment on some other entries. Didnt review any, sorry for mistakes. I talk with men to understand their side of things, I recommend doing that with feminists or simple women… it helps to get a wider perspective of things. Oh, I also repeat thoughts in my comments, sorry I hurry.


  2. hisor says:

    My point to the second comment is. Men should be encouraged to value free time or family as much as money/work. It unfair for both


    • hisor says:

      Also women see republicans, conservatives and ect as enemies who want women to stay at home and similar and when men are chosing them and bashing liberals women feel threatened thinking many different things (like Romney and his binders full of women and the refusal to allow abort even if her life is in danger as in “die, god made it that way” or rape “god blessed for you to be raped”). Thats how men are supporting the enemy stereotype. Liberals are allies. Thats where freedom of opinion exists, if men were to raise their opinions among liberals everything would be less complicated. Liberals in general are more free kind of people and not that strict with their rules. Women wont go for someone who chooses their deaths, rape or unwanted pregnancy instead of abort..they feel that they want to control their bodies.. Notice how women voted for Obama The problem is that both see the other as the one with privileges(genders) like I mentioned before. Both dont consider the other as hurt…

      There are so many more reasons…. Everything is connected…


      • hisor says:

        Its not about all men or women, only some…

        There are more reasons of course. I only listed few unsignificant ones. Watch this and read description http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPrLoF14rOU&feature=related

        Election is not a war between genders….Those who vote based on that are stupid… I know that some do that… but very little…on both sides… genders dont fight each other,they fight misandry and misogony people…and abort is good for both genders


    • hisor says:

      The fight for equal pay is in the form of encouraging women to work more in general… and to encourage men to work less….. If women work more hours then men are bound to work less. Yet men deny unequal pay….stupid. If the pay is equal then its better for men. The ones who want to change places with their wifes will have the chance then.


      • hisor says:

        And when talking about career I talk about people who enjoy their work….NOT a carer for money…I want to make it clear so people didnt think money is my concern. Im about family time and the jobs that some people like doing. Working only for money is sad…
        Most home stay moms return to work when their children are old enough…
        Men enjoy their careers too,however,they work too much. It would be nice if they took a break too for children and men. Some men do take the leave but its not popular…
        I think that both men and women want to take the leave to be with children. Its ok to enjoy your work but family is more important


      • hisor says:

        U should use working moms/wifes to work less. Women already work,use this for the family.

        I know that I constantly return to add/explain ideas. My writing was not organized when I wrote the first comment. Im making a mess but I want to be understood corectly.. Apologise if that irritates someone


    • fdfdf says:

      To all:

      It’s not a “pay” gap… it’s a “lifetime earnings” gap. Let’s use the right words!

      And there is no “the solution is to…”, there is just infinite balancing. We as a society should place more value to child raising, the arts, meditation, down time, etc, regardless of gender. Men should take more time at home… okay… sure… but while that’s happening everyone is also shouting at us to “shutup, keep working and making money”, especially women looking for a husband/suitor.


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