To better understand “power” between the sexes, it helps to reflect on three guiding principles:
- Power is not taken; it is given. “Above all, power is given to us by other people.” –The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence, 2016, by Dacher Keltner
- No one does anything without a pay-off, real or perceived, immediate or delayed.
“[Think about] what you subconsciously love about the ‘problems’ you struggle to get over. Nobody holds onto something unless they think it does something for them.” -Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think
- No one can control you — exert power over you — without your permission.
Consider an example that illustrates these principles and gets right to the crux of “gender power”:
A stay-at-home wife is meeting with her feminist group, which may teach not responsibility and accountability but female victimology. She complains that her husband controls her. Heads bob up and down vigorously in agreement.
But they are wrong. The wife lets her husband “control” her. That is, she gives him the “power” to “control” her.
How? She does it by staying in the relationship and agreeing to do “his bidding” perhaps to keep the peace or to remain financially supported. Peace and financial support are the pay-offs she consciously or subconsciously accepts as an equal exchange for her doing what he says. (Which means he pays for his “power” over her by economically supporting her — an exchange he subconsciously recognizes as equal. So who is controlling whom?) Being financially supported permits her to avoid the time-consuming, tough work of becoming economically independent. If our kids, behaving like her husband, badger us until we give in and fork over our hard-earned $20 for a toy, do the kids have power over us because we did their bidding? Of course not. We realize we caved in to our children to gain peace and quiet, which is our pay-off for “giving power” to our kids (who at times foolishly think they do have power over us!).
Feminists say men have the power. But aliens observing us from their spacecraft might think otherwise. Consider:
In the 1976 WWII movie “Midway,” Lt. Cmdr. Ernest L. Blake walks ahead of his superior officer, Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, and opens the door for him. Why? Because superior officers in the military do not open doors for subordinates; it’s the other way around. That’s the way it is in the military because who opens the door for whom is considered a way of demonstrating who has power and authority.
Likewise, when a man opens a door for a woman, it’s a sign of female “power” (given to her by men) — not male “power,” as many feminists may insist. Ditto when a man rises to greet women or gives up his seat to them. Or when he removes his hat in their presence. It’s a sign of female “power” when men pass laws and lend support to policies that favor women over men: to wit, maritime laws and selective service laws. And laws that permit wives to own half of their husband’s assets and spend money the husband earns without her having to produce a penny of income herself. And laws that provide an Office of Research on Women’s Health for the healthier, longer-living sex (but no Office of Research on Men’s Health), which would be like an Office of Research on Men’s Economic Advancement for the higher-paid sex. (Women are also the wealthier sex.)
It’s often said “men have the power because they earn more than women.” Aside from the fact that millions of women outearn millions of men, there is no power in earning money, as every working man and woman discovers on their very first day on their very first job. When money is being earned, there are only responsibility, stress, and, yes, sometimes blood, sweat, and tears. The power of money is in spending it. Just ask politicians and those who bribe them. When do you feel powerful — when you worked hard all day at your stressful job, or when you bought, say, a new car or a big-screen 8K TV?)
“We’ve cast men’s higher pay as privilege and power, as opposed to understanding that the road to high pay is a toll road.” –Dr. Warren Farrell, March 9, 2017
Our alien observers might conclude to themselves: “It appears the female of the species is protected and often treated like royalty.”
What other signs of female “power” do you see — like the one in this picture — but which feminists and the liberal media ignore. To them, this woman is being used and objectified sexually. Never mind that she objectifies him economically.
For another example of what feminists do not want the sexes to know, see “Wives Belong at Home With the Children.”